I want to have your abortion
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
