apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
thus making me awesome and them whores
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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