my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
