she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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