this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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