Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
