You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
