lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
