Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so let's talk penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize