Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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