She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
