think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
