Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
