doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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