You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
