She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
