Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
