Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think brook has ever known best
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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