Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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