the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
