Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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