and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
