my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
