i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize