hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
