who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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