you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
