That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
