if i can run in heels then i can drive
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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