If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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