The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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