i don't like sucking hair
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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