i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
