I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
