? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
