I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
