Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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