I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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