4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
