so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
