And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
