bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
