your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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