I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize