belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize