What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
