i would punch a child for taco bell
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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