THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sorry my hands just texted you
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize