I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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