yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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