Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
