bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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