She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize