I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sarcasm needs its own font
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
