What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
