Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize