He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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