what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
