At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
vagina is talking i cant
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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