Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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