Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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