in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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