I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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