keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
